On cleaning out my closet and not being drunk.

I am certainly not organized. I live for clutter.  Put my belongings in cute containers and it will take me years to find them.  Put my stuff in a pile somewhere and I'll find it in a hot minute.  I may "lose" things more often this way, but I always find them.  Now that you know this about me, let me tell you I have a walk in closet and a dresser with deep drawers.  I love myself some awesome accessories (I cannot be seen without some sort of necklace and a handbag) so those take priority in my attempt to organize.  After that I have what I refer to as my fall/winter collection, and my spring/summer line.  Twice a year, I remove the contents of my closet and drawers, and place them into plastic bins. I then take all the current season items and place them into said closet and drawers.  I always leave at least 1 off season outfit for that crazy warm or cold day.  These might be the only 2 days a year that I am this organized.

Yesterday, was the day I chose to swap out my collection.  While I do throw out things that I no longer wear, I decided yesterday I needed a pretty big purge.  As of right now I'm in between sizes,  so with the upcoming weight loss surgery, I decided to create a donation bag and I tossed in everything that was the largest size, that I didn't really like, and 1 or two things that I loved just to keep me motivated.  Then in the tubs I placed the rest of my fall/winter wardrobe thinking that the winter items would be way too big for me by the time winter came, and that the fall stuff would be supper baggy.  I realized for the first time that instead of worrying if the clothes would fit me next season because I had gained weight, this was the first time I worried about spending money on clothes because these were too big.  And, on top of that I worried that what clothes I did have to buy, wouldn't fit for very long, and would certainly not make it to the following season.  Then I realized I wasn't worried... I was excited! So off goes my bag of clothes to donate, and away goes my tub of clothes to donate at a later time.   I can't wait to start buying new things!  I have no idea what size I will be in anything, so I can't start shopping yet.  That is driving me a little nuts, but it's OK.  It's making the days go faster having that to look forward to!

So while the afternoon hours of yesterday went smashingly, the evening was something I was dreading. 1 month before the surgery and until 1 month after I cannot have alcohol.  After that I can never have a beer or soda (no carbonation), and I need to stay away from anything fruity like mixes with a ton of sugar or fruit juice. And let's not forget my new stomach will only hold 4oz. That is not a lot of volume, and from what I hear, alcohol hits you much harder and faster.  Now I'll be a super cheap date!  So now yesterday was Day 1 of no alcohol, and what happens..... I get an invite to stop by a local bar for a friend's Birthday.  Wow.. really? Why does life like to test us from the minute one?  The meet up time was 10:30 P.M., and I went back and forth all day about going.  While I felt that I would be strong enough not to drink, I felt that I would end up feeling awkward, having to answer questions about why I wasn't drinking,  and having to be around a group of people having a good drunk time, and I wouldn't feel part of the group. As of 10pm I was still on the fence about going.  Then for whatever reason a few minutes later, I felt as if I needed to be there.  So I got up from my computer, pulled my hair back, put my bangs in a victory roll, and decided I wasn't going.  I continued playing with the victory roll that was looking more and more like a flop instead of a roll, teased it up one more time, pinned it and said to myself that I should go. This go/no-go pattern continued through my makeup, and 3 different outfits.  Finally at sometime a little after 11, a victory roll, some purple eye shadow, and a skirt later I was on my way out the door. 

I had 2 iced teas with lemon, turned down an offer to taste a tanqueray and tonic after mentioning I always wanted to taste one, 1 more iced tea, and not a sip of alcohol all night.  I was in pictures, laughed amongst friends, and after the 2nd time I answered that I wasn't drinking, I laughingly corrected that thoughts that I was indeed not pregnant and I did not have a DWI. And because it is so much easier to discuss this on the Internet, I said out loud, to people I know and don't really know that well, that I was having weight loss surgery to help out an infertility issue.  I didn't go into a lot of details, and I didn't really need to.  Everyone was super supportive. 

So with less the a month to go, the first day of the hurdle was a success! I ended up with 3 iced teas, good conversation, and a fun time.  The cost = $0.00 (no charge for the iced tea), some clothes that I will no longer fit into, the future cost of buying new clothes,  the lack of a hangover, and the elimination of stress that comes with keeping this all to myself. 

Next hurdle: June 25th - The 2 week pre-op diet.  Nothing but protein shakes and 1 small meal, with NO chance of cheating because my surgery won't go well if I do.  Frightening.

Till next time! xoxoxo,
Dana